TO BE MARRIED IN CHRIST

The risen Christ calls women and men to follow him in the vocation of marriage. Priests and deacons, single and married women and men help engaged couples get ready to enter this Christian calling. They do so in two ways. First, they help engaged couples prepare to encounter the paschal mystery. Second, they assist couples in preparing the marriage liturgy.

What does it mean to say that pastoral agents help engaged couples prepare to encounter the paschal mystery?

First, it means that each spouse is invited to enter the heart to reflect on her and his faith experience. How has each person met God in personal life and in the Sunday experience of the church at prayer? How has the baptismal covenant been lived in personal prayer and service? How has one's faith developed through study and sharing with others? How does each individual learn to see the image of God in oneself and in one's beloved? I am spelling out how God -- Father, Son, and Spirit -- has been present to the woman and man who prepares for marriage. I am saying that one's everyday experiences - one's circles of life such as family, school, friends, volunteer service, job and personal interests - are the place where Christ is met. This experience is what each spouse brings to the marriage day and to the marriage vocation.

Second, married Christians are called to mirror the dying and the rising of Christ to each other. This is a difficult thing to understand. Because we are blessed with abundance and prosperity in the United States, we expect marriage to be a fellowship of beauty in an enchanted land. Little in our culture prepares any couple for hard times. Single and married pastoral agents can be of great help here. They can share how they deal with personal disappointment, the anguish of physical or emotional illness, a miscarriage, the death of a child, and the loss of a job. These moments test a couple's character in good times and in bad.

Third, marriage is the same and different for every couple. Every couple creates a household of love and devotion, mutuality and affection, dedication and respect. Yet, each couple has distinct gifts that God uses to minister to the world. Couples bring blessing by how they forgive. Some manifest compassion for single parents or for children with special needs. Others stand by friends in joy and in sorrow or serve the poor. A number of married couples have helped me in moments of personal anguish and decision. They have sustained my vocation. I am grateful. Every couple can make a ministerial difference in this world.

Tertullian put it well."How beautiful, then, the marriage of true Christians, two who are one in hope, in desire, in the way of life they follow, in the religion they practice. They pray together, worship together, fast together; instructing one another, encouraging one another, strengthening one another. Side by side they visit God's church and partake of God's banquet; they face difficulties and persecution, and share their consolation. They never bring sorrow to each other's hearts. Unembarrassed they visit the sick, and assist the needy. They give alms without anxiety....Hearing and seeing this, Christ rejoices. To such as these he gives his peace. Where there are two together (Mt 18:20), there also he is present."