CHILDREN AND LITURGY - #6

When children come to the liturgy, they discover two things. They discover mutuality: receive the love of God and God's people and return that love in public prayer. They discover reciprocity: giving instead of greed, sharing instead of grasping, peace instead of violence, and love instead of narcissism. Ritual shapes character.

There are things that you can do to help your children develop mutuality and reciprocity. Here are ten liturgical commandments.

One, before you come to liturgy...If you are involved in family catechesis, spend time together with the Scriptures that will be proclaimed on Sunday. Pray together.

Two, going to the liturgy is something special. So, before you come to the liturgy, help your children dress appropriately. Dressing up helps young people anticipate the joy that comes from sharing in the banquet of God and God's people.

Three, aim at arriving early enough so that you and your children can settle into your seats and can prepare for the liturgy to begin. Were you to arrive late, a reality often not planned for, stay calm. When you come into the church, do not go to your seat immediately. Notice what is going on in the liturgy. Then, at an appropriate break in the action, go and sit down. Join in what is going on.

Four, children pay attention when they can see the ritual action. If you and your children sit in the first half of the church, you'll help them see well. Children find it really difficult to see and to participate when they are seated near the back of the church.

Five, children can get really distracted, or they start to cry a lot, or they just have to go to the bathroom. When these needs arise, go to the meeting room on the right in the front of the church. Stay there until children are ready to return, or have finished crying, or have concluded bathroom needs. Staying in a separate room for the entire liturgy is not desirable because it cuts you and your family off from God's people and communal prayer. (This also triggers memories of an earlier time when U.S. churches practiced racism by having segregated seating.)

Six, children learn from adults. When adults sing, kids sing. If children do not read yet, they can hum a hymn. Some tunes repeat themselves weekly during a liturgical season. These include melodies such as the Alleluia, the Holy, holy, holy Lord, the memorial acclamation, the Great Amen, and the litany to the lamb of God. Kids pick these tunes up easily. Sing with them.

Seven, children love good storytelling. They need to hear the story of salvation through well planned and performed children's liturgy of the word. Encourage this ministry.

Eight, children enjoy sharing. I'd like to see children receive their own envelopes for the collection. Parishes could have the children decide how their sacrificial giving would be used for other poor and needy children.

Nine, children stay alert during the eucharistic prayer when everybody in the Assembly sings the acclamations provided for in the eucharistic prayer for children.

Ten, children receive and give peace at the exchange of peace.

Keep these commandments and your liturgy will flourish and live.