The Mystery of Death and Christian Funerals - #18

When a loved one dies and is buried, those who remain continue to face grief and mourning. The process has many sides and moves along its own pace. Those who mourn may feel things that are new, things that may have never been felt before. These include a deep sense of loss, moments of regret, guilt, anger, and the pain of separation. There can be a hole in the soul. Mourning can affect our physical life. It may interrupt our sleeping and our eating patterns. Some people feel lethargic. Others may feel melancholic. A song, a sight, an anniversary, a photo can unexpectedly conjure up memories, anger, tears, and sorrow. The spiritual pain can also be terribly acute. People may question their faith as never before. Does God provide? Does God care? Is God absent? People can also wonder what their church holds about the afterlife and they may even question the validity of that teaching. Somehow the emotional, the physical, the spiritual, and the intellectual sides get all rolled into a large ball of grief. And it isn't fun!

How do Christians deal with grief and loss? The first step is to acknowledge it. Then, slowly, step by step, the reality of loss is honored and the pain is felt. Some begin to meet regularly with others in order to share and to receive comfort. Christians also remember their loved ones in personal prayer and in the celebration of the Eucharist. In this way Christians keep the dead alive in their hearts and begin to find strength, comfort, and consolation.. Families can join in prayer at home - a month after the death of a loved one, at anniversaries, at holiday time. This kind of domestic prayer can bring a family to a deep level of communion and care.

I find the doctrine of the communion of saints to be a great help in moments of grief. When my mother died, I sensed that it was time for her to go home. She had lived a good life, been a fine Christian, and had been an active church minister for years. Her final illness lasted only a month and her death was a painful moment for my family and me. Still, I found myself feeling that it was time for her to go home and to take her place in the communion of saints. I remember meditating on lines that went back to the early church. This was the image.

The church is a bark on the waters of life. It is sailing towards its destination, the heavenly shores. It has not gotten there yet. It is still sailing the seas. Those who look closely will notice that Christ is its experienced pilot. The mast is the cross. The sails are the commandments. The wind is the Spirit. The rudders are the testaments, old and new. Patriarchs and matriarchs, saints and martyrs are working the rigging. We, too, are mates on board. There is water in barrels for the bath of regeneration. The virtues strengthen the crew and the beatitudes inspire the mates. No matter the tumult, the storms, the sea monsters, the behemoths, or the leviathans! Christ the pilot and the wind of the Spirit will bring the bark to its destination. Though invisible to the eye, the living still share a communion with the dead. Someday, when the sea voyage is over, all will disembark on the other bright shore.