The Mystery of Death and Christian Funerals - #1

Each of us can be deeply touched by the death of a neighbor, co-worker, grandparent, parent, spouse, child, schoolmate or friend. Death is shrouded still in great mystery. We know a lot about the process of dying, pain management, the care of the dying through hospice, and the experience of letting-go. Yet, we do not know about the act of dying, the moment of death, the experience of the other side, and our passing over to the Lord. Each culture attempts to imagine the mystery of death through its poetry, drama, holy writings, hymns, wall inscriptions, paintings, and the gravesites of urban and country churchyards. But, in fact, cultural expression in our society may say more about our sense of loss and grief than it says about the mystery that eludes and escapes our grasp. Ultimately, each of us, even the privileged and the pedigreed, steals away silently and surrenders quietly. "Into your hands, Lord, I commend my soul."

The ritual prayer for the dying and the dead has undergone remarkable change since the Second Vatican Council (1962-1965). Our prayers for the dying are very simple. If necessary, we pray a prayer of forgiveness for the dying person. Then, if possible, we give the person the Eucharist. This is called holy viaticum because it is spiritual food and drink that fortifies the person for the final journey. Then we offer some prayers. We also pray for the consolation of those who keep watch as a loved one shares in the passion of the Lord and hands over her or his life to the triune God. "In the face of death, the Church confidently proclaims that God has created each person for eternal life and that Jesus, the Son of God, by his death and resurrection, has broken the chains of sin and death that bound humanity. Christ achieved his task of redeeming humanity and giving perfect glory to God, principally by the paschal mystery of his beloved passion, resurrection from the dead, and glorious ascension.' (Order of Christian Funerals, General Instruction #1)."

If anyone has been with someone in her or his dying and death, one knows that this is a solemn, serious, and sad moment. The event is profoundly moving because it is so final. Although one may be consoled in faith by the promise that eternal life is our destiny, each of us senses that something momentous has happened. Often we are filled with a flood of memories at the moment of death and soon thereafter. We remember the vitality of the person and the significance of our relationship. We may also regret those times when we did not connect, when a harsh word was exchanged or where there was alienation or estrangement.

When someone dies, the family is confronted with a series of practical details. We ring up relatives and friends. We meet with the funeral director and church personnel to arrange the wake, the funeral, and the burial. This is a busy and stressful time. There may be little chance for reflection, prayer, or mourning. Our rituals, viz. the wake, the Mass liturgy, and the burial, are designed to assist the family and friends in stages. The gathered church processes toward the heavenly Jerusalem. The rituals walk us through our expression of farewell.