Saint Malachy Parish - Liturgical Guide Series

The Order of Christian Funerals

The story is told of a wise old Italian Cardinal who, before his death, decreed that he wanted these words printed on his tombstone: "We weep because it is human...yet, we hope because it is Christian." This, indeed, is the paradox of death for the Christian - that we both bear the weight of loss and the hopeful message that death is not the last word for, as we pray: "You will not leave me for dead, nor lead your beloved astray" [Psalm 16].

This brochure has been put together by Saint Malachy Parish to acquaint you with the Order of Christian Funerals as well as some of the ways we hope we can minister to you and your family at the time of illness, death and grieving. The parishioners and staff of Saint Malachy's reach out to you in your loss and want you to know that they are ready to stand by you as fellow disciples who have tasted the bitter fruit of death as well as the hopeful message of new life in Jesus Christ.

While death is often sudden and unexpected, there are times when prolonged illness precedes death. In such cases, this time can be a graced opportunity for the dying person and his/her family to face the reality of impending death by talking about the funeral rituals. The pastoral staff of Saint Malachy Parish is ready to meet with you to begin this process. Experience has shown that such conversation not only helps the dying person accept his/her own impending death but also aids the family and friends to bond together with the dying person in a way which is both realistic and hopeful.

If such an opportunity does not present itself before your loved one dies, we hope that you will call on us right after death so that we can minister to you in your time of loss. Along with the personnel of the funeral home, the clergy, staff and parishioners of Saint Malachy Parish are ready to help you in whatever ways we can. Soon after we are advised of a death, a member of our parish bereavement committee will contact you to set up a time to visit you in your home both to pray with you and to help you plan the funeral rites. The following outline of the Order of Christian Funerals, we hope, will be of particular help to you.

The first element of the funeral rites is the Vigil or Wake service which is celebrated in the funeral home in the presence of family and friends. Led by staff members of the parish and parishioners this vigil service is held in either the afternoon or the evening. It consists of an opening song, a reading and psalm, a brief homily and various prayers for the deceased and their family. It is a time for the family and friends of the deceased to "hear" the gospel of Jesus that death is not the final word in the human story. "I am the resurrection and the life: whoever believes in me, though they should die, will come to life; and whoever is alive and believes in me will never die" [John 11:26].

The Funeral Mass is usually celebrated in the morning. During the Triduum [Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Holy Saturday], when Mass is not celebrated, a funeral Liturgy of the Word would take place in the church, instead. The Funeral Mass begins with the ministers and mourners meeting the family and the casket at the entrance to Saint Malachy Church. Weather permitting, this greeting takes place just outside the church. There, the body of the deceased is first blessed with holy water. This is followed by the placing of the funeral pall, a large white cloth, on the casket. Both the sprinkling with water and the placing of the pall remind us of the Baptism in which the person has already died and been raised with Christ. It is certainly fitting for family members to help lay the pall on the casket. If you would care to, please let us know in advance.

Immediately after the pall has been arranged, the priest leads the procession of family and mourners accompanying the casket into the church, while all sing a hymn. A special funeral program is provided so that all might participate in the prayers and hymns of the liturgy. Our parish pastoral associate is ready to discuss the music selections with you, should you so wish. In general, the music, like all liturgical music, is congregational and appropriate to the religious dimensions being celebrated in this Christian liturgy.

The Liturgy of the Word consists of a first reading from the Hebrew Scriptures, a psalm, a second reading and a reading from one of the Gospels. The book, Through Death To Life, includes many possible readings and we would encourage you to read through it should you want to make some particular recommendations for the liturgy. This book is available either at the funeral home or at the parish. We welcome family members or close friends to proclaim the first two readings. Simply advise us of this wish in advance. The homily follows and, then, the General Intercession [Prayers of the Faithful] which, again, may be read by someone in the family.

Should you wish, family members may bring the gifts [bread and wine] to the altar table. The Eucharistic Prayer ensues with communion offered to all under the forms of both bread and wine. At times, a relative or close friend may wish to say a few brief "Words of Remembrance" about the deceased after the communion prayer. This should be discussed with the parish staff in advance. The liturgy concludes with an incensing of the casket by the priest, a "Song of Farewell" sung by the entire congregation, and some final prayers. At the end, the ministers accompany the casket and the mourners to the entrance of the church.

The final station of the funeral liturgy is the Rite of Committal at the grave site. When celebrated locally, the parish priest, deacon or pastoral associate would accompany the family and friends to the cemetery. Beyond the local area, we would help the family plan for this final moment of sharing their grief as well as their hope

Some final thoughts... We hope that you will call on the parish staff and members of the congregation in the weeks and months that follow the death of your loved one so we can continue to be of support and help. Several times a year we celebrate memorial prayer services for those who have died. We hope that you will join us for these services so that, as a parish community, we may continue to help and support one another.

When there is no conflict with regularly scheduled parish activities, the lower hall of the church, which has a good sized kitchen, is available without charge to gather with friends and relatives after the service at the grave site. We ask that you schedule this with the parish secretary and that you leave the hall neat and clean since we do not have a regular custodian every day.

For those who would like, the parish does have a Memorial Fund used to enhance our church and worship. Should you or your friends and relatives wish to make a donation in memory of your loved one, we would be most appreciative. The parish staff includes Reverend Leonard O'Malley, the pastor, and Ken Meltz, the pastoral associate/music director. Should you need to talk with us directly, or with the parish secretary, Mary Ann Savoie, we can be reached at 272-5111.

In the days, weeks and months that follow, we pledge to you our prayers, our support and our sympathy. May the God of healing and consolation find a special place in your heart at this time of loss and sadness.